my retrospect; looking back at the past...

Friday, May 29, 2009

1st day of holiday...

Today kinda not free,got wedding muz attend dunno who but wat i know is it's one of my cousin dunno which side,haha.....Juz wanted to say that i hope nobody will feel offended by my recent post,juz needed to take all of that out coz its drowning me down,theres some parts wat my parents said is true such as i always keep stuff to myself and nvr tell anibody especially them,and then whenever i have a problem wif frens or family i will juz keep quiet...i kinda talk more to my cats than my parents abt my probs..I'm also not sure where i'm heading or who to choose as frens or shud i juz be alone so to not hurt anybody... i dun wan to pull anybody from their own frens...I wan my peaceful life back wif happiness surrounding me and sadness being unknown to me...Being that cheerful girl i once were...I wan to change my life and know where i'm heading and wat is my purpose living...

my retrospect; 8:38 PM

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Last day of school...

Today got sports and arts carnival,participated in street netball though we didnt win but i was an experience coz its been so long ever since i played netball and it kept me thinking why i quit netball last time,HAIZ....I could have been slimmer and taller now,stupid me!! Btw ytd got my I.C,woooohoooo....Gerek or wat????Nothing much actually but kept myself occupied today so as to not think abt that hurtful incident.Its also the last day of sch and its holidays now PEOPLE, wooohooo.....Gonna revise my A maths and catch up wif the topics so that i won't be left out anymore,result was ok,as expected...Got C5 for English, E Maths and Science,B4 for Malay,A1 for Art and Humanities, and F9 for A MAths,haha...Still kinda sad, at times i feel like crying like when i told Tinie,Nina and Farah abt my parents scolding me,think back it really hurts... i'm gonna juz move on wif life and this holiday is really a break time for me from all the pressures being put on me,haiz...Btw this coming Wednesday to Friday got fitness camp so won't be updating my blog during those days but will surely update after the camp abt everything that happen,so 5 more days to camp....

my retrospect; 2:09 AM

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So hurt....

Had my meet the parent session on Thursday,28 May.When wif my mum and met my dad at school waited very long due to some reasons and during the meeting Mr Look really got me pissed by saying abt the assignment and his BLOODY CDL PROJECT which i didn't do despite the long period of time given to complete it and to top it i didn't pass up half of my maths assignment,after the meeting my mum and dad scolded me for not handing in my assignment,took a cab home and had dinner at the coffeshop....Then my dad kept saying abt the assignment thingy and i already said that i didn't know abt it,so at the coffeshop couldn' take it so i cried my ass up coz i really cannot take the pressure that is on me,then when i got hold of myself they ask me why i cried and i didn't want to tell so i looked somewhere else and my mum said that my attitude problem is starting again dun they noe that every word that comes out of their mouth hurts me so much and my dad could still ask my mum why me and my sibling are rude to them,is it becoz of them and then he said i think it is.....bit by bit my tears started to roll down and to think of it that he could really said that infront of me,how hurtful is that when i've always cherish them alot and be thankful for what they have done to raise me and then he talk abt my past friends,he said i follow my friends and all,becoz he once saw one of them smoking and the other wif a guy,he also thinks that i listen to my friends more than them that's why i become like this,when the truth is i have long left them becoz of my father and i know that my father disagree wif me befriending them,i've already said that but he still kept bringing the past up time to time,cried infront of my food, upon hearing those words coming out of his mouth really hurt me deeply then he said that i always think abt myself only and nvr thought abt them and their hardwork in brnging me up, actually whenever i wanted to do sumting i will always think abt them and try not to hurt them of wateva, i even once ask if i can work to help them but they decline my idea becoz they wan me to study doesn't that show you that i did not only think abt myself and if i think of myself only would i be crying infront of them somemore at public place....He even said that me and my brother is the same when i'm so different from my brothers,my brothers are the ones who only thinks abt themself,they rarely spend time wif parents when i always find time to spend time wif them even how tired or busy i am and they got money use it on their own things nvr once gave it to parent and my dad can still say that i'm the same like them....They will never understand me and they think i'm selfless when they could say all those things to me and never thought abt my feelings and if i'm hurt or wat...I juz wish i could tell them how i feel but i juz can't bring myself to tell them,cried myself to sleep bcoz i couldnt stop thinking back wat they said...

To fyda i'm sorry if i never spend time wif you on the last day of school, i juz dun wan to have aniting got to do wif freda and liz again coz i can't bear my father saying the same thing again and in the end i'm hurting so badly later,and theres reason why i stay away from you lately,i juz wan some time off....i've got enough pressure from you that is everytime we spend time together you will always be sad becoz of zul and i juz got no strength in making you happy again when i can't make myself happy and also pressure from parents saying all this things to me that i dun love them anymore and that they are ready to stay alone when me and my siblings are grown up,i juz can't picture myself without them...

My dad also said that if we were to downgrade to 3 room flat the cats will not follow,obviously to hurt me right coz they know i love my cats so much,when they're lost only i already cried then now not living with them...Later he said that he say all those things just to make me realise (REALISE WAT) that they are actually breaking my heart to pieces..But wat i know that i will always remember that night coz it has left a scar on my heart....But no matter wat i will never hate or hurt my parents...

my retrospect; 1:10 AM

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Friday, May 22, 2009

23 May 2009

Yesterday was a really slow day.After school planned to go gym and i did go,hehe....B4 that meet Tinie's fren Fiona,when bank then.....When home awhile to change clothes then off to the gym at yishun stadium, workout for an hour then fyda when home but tinie and me when to the stadium to jog around the track then did some crunches and push up with some streching,hahaha.....It was really fun, did all that within an hour also, when np by bus then walked at npawhile and bought waffle coz we were really hungary then bought drinks at bubble tea shop near our house there...Reach home really tired and exhausted then bath and waited for my father to comehome wif my dinner that is MC CHICKEN BURGER,mmmm....There goes my exercise,haha....then thought of updating my blog ytd but too tired to even type so when to sleep at 10 and woke up at 11 am today,that also had to force myself to wake up,now got some bodyache but kinda normal to me...At night kept waking up soo MANY times but then slept within 2 minutes bcoz to tired,haha...

Today,mum and dad have sumting on and my big brothers when out so left me and my little bro,gonna rot today,no plans today so ROT,haiz....(daily routine)juz now ate NASI SAMBAL GORENG and as per normal,JJ will be the first one infront of the packet of rice,haha...Got spectator watching me eating,but actually his aiming for my chicken and i gave him some that is the chicken's wing,his favourite part of the chicken,but the weird part is he will only accept fried chicken those chicken nugget he won't eat nor look at it,that's my ass cat,JJ...Now he's sleeping infront of me,ass him make me sleepy again only...His peeping at me from behind my laptop screen,cheeky him...

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my retrospect; 10:14 PM

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

20 May 2009

Today got my maths paper 2 result and i pass it,so overall i pass the whole exam paper,haha..So proud of myself (3 cheers for me) and art i got A1,yes ah.Juz now got class photo taking and it was awesome,we really did a fun shot,haha....Nothing extraordinary happen just very funny moments.After sch planned to go home straight but ended up going to the library wif Fyda and Tinie,so spend time together and made jokes and laugh our ass out..Then met my parents at the library and ate at Galilleo Cafe, ate 'Roastery Chicken Leg',mmmm.......Shared it wif Tinie and Fyda coz the quantity was alot,so eat and joke and laugh,then later at 3+ seperated in our different directions,haha....End of the fun.......

Then went home wif my mum and then go NTUC to buy household stuff, then at home my mum showed me sumting really cute and funny..Maybe i should let the pictures do the talkings,hehe....

Onix in a wok,how cute???

Can still pose to the camera???

Too tired so sleep in the wok...

Haha.......Cute or wat??? My cats are just the most adorable creatures, especially ONIX,haha.....
Laugh my ass out after seeing these pictures,haha....Too bad i didn't see it wif my own eyes...

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my retrospect; 2:38 AM

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

19 May 2009

Basically today at sch slack alot,got my mid year results and it was really terrible for some,such as A Maths,really failed badly (not telling),hehe... Did good in humanities(geog),Chem okok,physics failed the paper by 3 marks i think and malay as usually,pass but no flying colours,lame... E maths not sure havent got my paper 2 results so dunno overall pass or not,but pass my paper 1 , alhamdullillah...Tmr will be getting maths paper 2 result and art,good luck to me,juz now no EL Oral,so save...Not gonna moan over my marks, juz gonna accept the fact bcoz thats how i did and the marks is stated clearly, so why moan over it,you could have done sumting b4 the exam but nooo you were confident about everything,haha...Btw English i pass for compre and summary, cool or wat,nvr did pass in compre,so 3 cheers for me!!!

After school planned to accompany Fyda to eat at KFC but then walking to NP , Farah,Nina and Dahlia ask us to lepak wif them first,awhile only but i didn't want due to ................fill in the blank(haha... Tinie should know) so i told Fyda if she want to lepak wif them then i go home but if she want to eat then move her ass coz i dun wan to sit down and stare into space wasting my time like an idiot,so she move her ass but then later she ask me to go home and she want to lepak wif them, then she merajuk or wat 'dunno dun care', so i walk away wif Tinie and Wany,took the bus home and ................

When home,eat then ON the com later chat wif Faris then read his blog then he ask me to update my blog, so now updating it and ...............

And my target for mid-year didn't came true coz of one F9,haiz.... So much for (A's and B's wif only one C). Can kiss goodbye to it but i've already set a new target for end-of-year...Gonna work hard for it after hols,reduce slacking and rotting,hehe....

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my retrospect; 1:37 AM

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Monday, May 18, 2009

Quotes

Friendship

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else."
- Len Wein

"Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life"

"One's best friend is oneself"

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my retrospect; 1:48 AM

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Rotting at home....

Been rotting at home for the past 2 days,OMG la kan....Ytd when religious class,got my report book back and then watch a really classic malay movie, urgh....Tmr at last got school but unfortunately tmr got oral,haiz (good luck to me)..ytd my cousin came but she was sick,she got flu like me,haiz...Damn you flu,hate it...I'm sick lately,got flu and cough,haiz and tmr is oral,wth...feel likes running my hand in my throat and scratching it,urgh so irritating...but nvm 2 weeks to school closure, not much to say actually coz not much happen ytd and today,so buhbye...

my retrospect; 1:34 AM

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Friday, May 15, 2009

Exams Over!!!

Exams are finally over,yes ah.... actually 2 days ago,lol....Now enjoying life and switching to holiday mood,holidays is coming in 2 weeks,cool or wat?? But i fear my results will i get my target, hope so... Btw some updates of the past few days, well...Thurdays was my last day of exams but right aft i finish it i dun feel excited or happy,juz the same, but that didn't stop me from enjoying myself, when home wif Tinie and she went my hse to play wif the cats but unfortunately the cats were sleepyheads that day, so played the computer and when blog hopping,we made jokes abt her past entries,lol...Bully her a bit,haha....I was really worn out after laughing so much,she went home ard
7+ pm.Then back to my normal life,rotting at home.

The next day,woke up at 11+,had a good night sleep,really tiring during exam period, sleeping late to study and waking up early for exams,whoa...But i paid back my sleep already,the rest of the day was boring,on computer then ...............watch television at night,dad bought dinner at mac and i ate mc chicken burger,really hungary,before that ate 5 slices of bread with nutella,my favourite...Slept at 12 midnight and woke up today at 10.30,hehe...Quite early for me though,watch friends the series on tv,really funny show,laugh like hell,hehe,then bath,eat rice and now blogging and rotting,actually waiting for my cousin to come but not sure what time,haiz,so bored....Will blog more soon,toodles...

my retrospect; 11:26 PM

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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

6 May 2009

I'm now a bit relieve as my maths paper 1 and mother tongue paper 2 is over,the maths paper was okay,average i can say, maybe that's whats the standard is,hehe. Left out 1 question,didn't have enough time or can i say i didn't plan my time management well,didn't have time to check and i fear i do alot of careless mistakes...But nrvm it's over and done and stop thinking abt it,tmr is geography paper and mother tongue paper 1,been memorizing like hell from just now but thankful that i could memorize everything in one night,after school juz now spend time wif frens and i'm still thinking whether to go to Farah's birthday party or not,i'm done for now,will blog again soon..

my retrospect; 7:11 AM

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Friday, May 1, 2009

2 May 2009

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

Love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who don't.

Believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance,take it.

If it changes your life,let it.

Nobody said life would be easy,they just promised it would be worth it...

my retrospect; 10:40 PM

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1 May 2009

Yesterday aft school went to make the IC then decided to go study with Tinie and Herni after that so had my self studies at school. At ard 4+ Faris came,before that he went and play street soccer and by then i was in no mood to continue studying, so played a game from Herni's phone.We packed up at ard 5+ becoz Mr Phua closed the cafeteria lights,haiz.....So we packed up and walked to NP,still didn't want go home so went mac and Herni went home already so left me,Faris and Tinie...It was fun, we ate ice cream and talked abt stuffs and laugh ALOT...We went home at 8+ at night, cool or wat,haha... i reach home at 8.30 pm, took bus, while Tinie and Faris walked home...Reach home already, nobody was relieved a little atleast come back won't get scolding but my mum called when i was at mac,and ya she scold me and ask me at where and why never tell her i coming home late...Didn't get scolded later though,hehe,muz be my lucky day... Anyway slept at 10.30 and woke today at 12,hehe...Was so exhausted la.Today i did some revision and watch television for 3 hours,miss my tv time,didnt watch tv for 1 week sey...Then aft that change my blogskin as you can see,hehe...And now updating my blog...

my retrospect; 2:59 AM

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